Happy New Year Taisho Style
by Raven-2010
Summary: New years is nearing the gang's staying at the Taisho house for the yearly new year party, Sessh & Inu have their new year prank war, Inu sends Sessh a cake with a bomb at work. Inu's sent to the dog pound, one shots, comedy romance LEMON Sessh/Kag
1. Chapter 1, New Years Hell

**Disclaimer I don't own Inuyasha Rumiko Takahashi, and VIZ Media do, Rated R Lemon**

As he is each year, Inuyasha is in prank and torture Sesshoumaru mode, but unlike the years before this year will be epic it leads to an all out canine war, Sugimi and the others watch the battle. for some extra fun Inu messes with Sugimi and gets a surprise, lol, thanks for all the reviews you gave when I first wrote this one. Written for New **Years 2011**, happy New Year everyone, extended Dec 25 2011, Sessh/Kag

**Happy New Year Taisho Style**

**By Raven 2010, Jan 1 2011**

**Father son talk, cranberry surprise, the new ad **

"Oh sweet pup of mine? Sugimi sweetly called

"Yes dear father? Inuyasha teasingly answered

"Are you going to be a good dog this year, or am I going to have to cage you and send you to the pound?

"Damn, what are you the dog police now?" Inuyasha asked

"Yes, with you on the loose you bet your bad little puppy ass I am"

"Puppy? Get bent, ya old codger. You are the freaking poster boy for wet blankets," Inuyasha wisecracked

"And you're the poster boy for dumb ass who never knows when to quit"

"Oh like arrows in my heart" Inuyasha joked with his hand over his heart feigning pain "You have no proof of such. This Inuyasha is innocent until proven guilty" he ragged using formal speech

"I need no proof, this Sugimi knows this Inuyasha is as guilty as sin, and has been since birth" Sugimi teased speaking formally

"Damn you're a total pain" you know that?

"Is that guilt speaking, pup?" Sugimi asked

"Nope keep dreaming"

"Pound puppy time" Sugimi teased, then put Inuyasha in a dog cage

"Oh, why was I born an inu?"

"Because I am a dog fool" Sugimi replied

"You suck"

**Later that day**

Sugimi went to his room to take a nap, he took his shoes off, then laid on his king size bed, the second his weight went down on the mattress the middle sunk in, and he was soaked with cranberry juice. Sugimi immediately went into must destroy then kill pup mode, as he lifted himself up and out of the bed evil multiple thoughts ran through his mind, he'd find a way to get pay back some how

"Inuyasha dead dog Taisho" Sugimi screamed with murder in his voice

"Oh shit, mutt face I cant believe it you nailed your dad this year?" Kouga exclaimed

"Well he caged me for nothing" Inuyasha answered

"Just what did you do to papa? Kagome asked

"You will soon see" Inuyasha replied

Then seconds later cranberry red Sugimi landed from the second floor in front of Inuyasha "Hello my favorite pup"

"Oh crap" Inuyasha exclaimed

"Why so nervous? You know you're my favorite son, papa wuvs you" he teased

"B, bullshit, wha, what are you u, up to?" Inuyasha stammered

"Nothing just a little father son bonding"

"Ah, um I gotta go take care of something"

"Not now dear son" Sugimi said with a sadistic smile

"C, come on pop y, you did cage me for nothing" he stuttered

At the speed of light Inuyasha found himself glued to a huge billboard with a Kotex pad ad on it. Sugimi's second gift to him was leaving him wearing nothing but a Kotex pad attached to and held on with an elastic band. Sugimi took pictures with his cell phone, Kagura and the others arrived riding on her feather, and Kirrara just in time to see it. Ayame filmed the sight with a compact camcorder

"Little brother wearing female attire, how embarrassing" Sesshoumaru needled

"Fuck you lord ass face, and you to father rat turd" Inuyasha bit bastards"

**Pie, a recording to remember, and the unexpected pregnancy**

Another new year and like every year before Inuyasha was in lets screw with Sesshoumaru prank mode, a death wish to be sure. It started while Sesshoumaru was at work sitting at his desk he had just finished wrapping up some business deals when a deliveryman arrived with a box, Sesshoumaru took the box thanked the man, and the person left

The box had the business address and label on it of Yamamoto industries a company he did a lot of business with. Thinking it was from Yoshi Yamamoto his long time friend he opened it and a clown holding a pie popped up, the pie exploded coating his beautiful silver hair, and covering him with a hot pink cream all over his new and favorite sky blue suit, and white shirt

"_**Inuyashaaaaaaa" **_Sesshoumaru screamed and was heard throughout the area by all the staff "I'm gonna turn you from a rooster to a hen with one swipe of my claws"

Kagura, Ayame, Miroku, Sango, Kouga, Inuyasha, Jakotsu, Bankotsu, and Kagome all worked for Sesshoumaru in various positions, all wondering what happened to their now past furious boss. They found out when Sesshoumaru stepped out of his office with murder in his eyes, then they Sesshoumaru's new pink and blue suit, and pink silver hair

"Oh shit mutt face you really did it and went to far this time, never fuck with a guys new clothes especially his favorite new expensive suit" said Kouga

"Well how the hell was I supposed to know the prick was gonna wear his new suit today? Inuyasha snapped "It's probably his new notice me ladies I need to get laid, come jump me suit anyway" Inuyasha wisecracked

"Every year you do this shit" don't you ever get tired of it? Or are you a sadist who enjoys pain? Asked Kagura"

"Fuck no it's to much fun" Inuyasha replied "And I ain't no sadist, I just love fucking with the bastard"

"Yeah and it's going to be fun when he kills you one day" Ayame warned "Maybe even de nuts you in the process"

"Run fast dummy" said Kagome "And pray while doing it, today's funeral day"

"Yes and do it fast my cute delicious, little hanyou" Jakotsu teased

"Bye bye Sesshomaru" Inuyasha taunted while Sesshoumaru closed in on him and he starting to run "He's fruity licious"

"Get back here Eriyasha you soon to be a hanyouess wench" Sesshoumaru barked

Enraged Sesshoumaru formed, and snapped his whip across the back of Inuyasha's waist, splitting the waistband of his pants, and back seam, which swiftly caused his pants to fall down around his ankles. The hanyou was now going to have to keep trying to outrun, and escape his pissed off brother with his pants around his ankles, the room filled with howls of laughter from Sesshoumaru's employees

"Hell no I don't think so Sesshomaru" Inuyasha replied "Did ya have to split my damn pants, asshole?"

"A stinky backside needs air, besides your farts are so caustic they could kill everyone in the building" Sesshoumaru insulted "And all in the surrounding neighborhood"

"Mass murder by fart, that's a new weapon" Miroku joked

But as it was inevitable soon enough Sesshoumaru caught him on the first floor of Sesshoumaru's office building. There was a restaurant there Sesshoumaru carried Inuyasha out through the back, and quickly dropped him into the restaurants dumpster, Inuyasha found himself buried in spaghetti, tomato sauce, rice, gravy, and various other discarded foods, then Sesshoumaru quickly clamped the lid down, and held it down

"Sesssuckmaru I'll kill you"

"Well Fartyasha you might want to remember who started this little shit fest it wasn't me" was it? A free no charge day at the spa, consider it my gift to you"

"I do not give a rats hairy fart filled ass let me out shit head I will get you just wait" Inuyasha barked "I'll give you a day at the fucking spa you dick"

Just then the guy from the restaurant came out with more trash, and one item very much interested Sesshoumaru "Hello Sesshoumaru" he's at again is he? Asked Takemaru

"Yes the same shit every year" Hm, may I have that lovely item you're holding?

"Why of course be my guest" Takemaru replied

With that said and done Sesshoumaru quickly lifted the dumpster lid and poured a half bottle of dark red wine over Inuyasha's head staining his beautiful white hair, and clothes, then closed the lid again and was pleased to hear a fuming hanyou scream

"Sesshoumaru you cock sucking fucking cunt"

"Lovely vocabulary" Takemaru commented "Did he buy or rent it? He joked

"Inuyasha for a man sucking pussy is a banquet, and a very pleasurable sport. But sucking cock as you put it is quite another matter and something I do not now and will never participate in. We do not want or need to hear about your activities it really is quite disturbing to others" Sesshoumaru wisecracked

"Fuck you, now let me out of here you butt hole licker"

"Again little brother we do not wish to know about, or hear of your activities" what do you think Takemaru? Sesshoumaru asked knowing he'd play along

"Your right I wish I hadn't heard it, I never knew, or thought Inuyasha was into such kinky things. Maybe we should fix him up with Jakotsu, maybe they'd even get married one day, what a lovely pair they would make" Takemaru said

"Agreed" Sesshoumaru said, to gripe Inuyasha "Inuyasha I never thought you were such a freak" said a smirking Sesshoumaru

"You sons of bitches I'm gonna de nut then kill both of you" Inuyasha bellowed

"Inumarsha if you ever tried you'd be the one getting de nutted" Takemaru wisecracked.

"You know you should really relieve that hostile tension of yours then you'd be relaxed instead of uptight, I hear hand jobs work wonders for that"

"I ain't no damn girl" will you cunt heads stop calling me by girl names? Inuyasha snapped "And I'll give you a hand job my fist in your head asshole"

"Awww poor little pup your right he needs to beat his meat, Dickyasha" Takemaru wise cracked "See you Sesshoumaru have fun"

"I will"

A growl, was heard then a burning with rage Inuyasha burst forth out from underneath the dumpster lid he and leapt out. Sesshoumaru ran smiling evilly with a raging hanyou in hot pursuit, Inuyasha did not realize how much worse then Sesshoumaru he looked and with no pants as they ran through the streets of Japan, with his light green underwear, and the rest showing for all to see

Meanwhile Kouga had gotten Sesshoumaru chasing Inuyasha through the office building from the security cameras, and uploaded in into his camcorder. In Sesshoumaru's. office wiseass Kouga was filming the whole beautiful event of Sesshoumaru dumping Inuyasha into the dumpster, and Inuyasha chasing him up the street, with his camcorder yes Kouga readied himself to get it on video this year

"Well kids Inuyasha has started the ball rolling, and you know Sesshoumaru will be relentless with his own pranks now" Kagura commented "Poor foolish boy"

Yeah Stupidyasha started, and we get to watch the fun" Kagome said

"You know I've got a feeling this year is gonna be way worse then the others, kids this is happy new year Taisho style" Kouga added

"I kind of thought that maybe Inuyasha would take a break this year but nope" Jakotsu commented

That night Sesshoumaru made a call to his cohort in crime "Hello"

"Hi it's Sesshoumaru" are you ready for tomorrow morning?

"Sesshy dear I was born ready"

"Okay be here at 11:30 tonight" Sesshoumaru instructed

"Will do, I can hardly wait"

"Oh he'll sleep like a baby after I slip him the sleeping powder in his beloved ramen" said Sesshoumaru

"Sessh you are truly evil I love it, the poor bastard"

"Thank you such compliments make me happy"

The next morning Inuyasha woke up, he felt something warm in his bed, still half asleep he reached over touched it, and it was definitely female. He reached over and turned the lamp on his nightstand on, when he looked, his beautiful golden eyes went wide as saucers, and a look of shock covered his handsome face

"Kagura what the fuck, what is this shit?

"What don't you remember? Now that hurts"

"Remember what?

"Yashakins you know what we did you're male I'm female, the parts fit together"

"Oh you gotta be fucking kidding me"

"I assure you Yash I am not, and you were absolutely fantabulous, wow it is true what they say when they say about Inu's being horn dogs. I have never been fucked that good before in my life" Kagura teased

"I Cannot believe this shit, this cannot, and I repeat cannot be happening"

"Oh and another thing you should know daddy" she was cut off

"What do you mean daddy? And stop calling me daddy I hate that"

"Like I was saying I was in heat when we did it and now I'm pregnant Papayasha"

"What? Inuyasha screamed _**"Sesshoumaruuuuuuu?**_ You bitch I'm gonna gut you like a fish, then feed your innards to the sharks" echoed throughout the mansion

Kagome, Jakotsu, Miroku, Sango, Ayame, Kouga, and Kagura who were staying at the mansion as they did each year for the big Taisho family new years party, came running. Looking innocent Sesshoumaru casually strolled out of his room and into the hallway then yawned looking at Inuyasha as if he was crazy

"Sesshoumaru you fucking asshole" what the fuck is this shit Kagura in my room? And now she says she's pregnant"

"Finally I am going to have grand pups" Playing along Sugimi teased

"Little brother I am not responsible for your sexual escapades" have I not told you a thousand times or more to use a condom? And as for her being pregnant you will take care of your responsibility"

"Fuck you this is one of your fucked up pranks ya bastard" Inuyasha snapped

"Yeah whatever dog papa I'm going back to bed now, I am still sleepy" Sesshoumaru said

"Good work congratulations daddy" Sango teased "Hope it's a litter" she needled

"Way to go I always knew you had it in you" said Miroku "Hope it's twins

"Yeah great work mutt face" Kouga added "Thought you were going to die a virgin"

"That a boy" Jakotsu teased "And on the first night to"

"Oooo and if the pup, or pups, have your cute little ears they'll be adorable" said Ayame adding the pups part to jolt Inuyasha good

"I ain't no fucking daddy, Kagura and I don't like each other that way never have never will" Inuyasha yelled

"Well apparently you liked each other last night a lot, all night long. Horny dog" Kagome ragged

"Train kept rolling all night long" Miroku razzed "Choo, choo"

"Hope you started slow after using lots of foreplay" Sugimi teased

'Yep, a fast lover sucks" Ayame needled

"Yeah ya gotta get really deep up inside the pussy, make em feel it" know what I mean? Kouga joked

"Kiss my ass, and fuck you one and all" Inuyasha said "Backstabbing low life sons of bitches"

"Later lover" Kagura said blew Inuyasha a kiss and turned to leave, he stomped into his room slamming the door behind him

The others surmising that it was one of Sesshoumaru's masterpiece pranks without a word winked at Kagura, she winked back as much as to say yes. They all went down stairs to the kitchen, Kagura put up a barrier so Inuyasha couldn't hear them, and told them the whole thing and they all but died laughing

**Bathroom surprises, a hot first kiss,**

3 hours later Sesshoumaru woke up and went into his bathroom with his news paper in hand, he sat on the toilet, in less then a second _**boom **_was heard, and Sesshoumaru was bright neon yellow. Then a foul sewer like stench filled the room, there on the first floor stood one very happy, all but pissing his pants laughing, ready to run hanyou, and boy was he eager for the fun and chase to start

"Oh shit he's at it again" Kouga stated

"Well I'll just call the funeral home and make funeral arrangements" Sugimi joked "Sniff, sniff, looks like I'll have one pup less now"

"Gee thanks got me dead already you old fossil" Inuyasha said

The others came running out of the kitchen to see what was going on, at first they had thought that it was a bomb, but when they saw Inuyasha, they knew it was yet another sick prank. It was when Sesshoumaru leapt down to the first floor they saw Inuyasha's handy work and gasped, yes Inuyasha had booby trapped Sesshoumaru's toilet with a combination dye stink bomb

"Holy fucking crap" Kouga said "The mutt is dead now"

"Oh my dear sweet kami's" Jakotsu added

"Why Sesshykins you look so beautiful, and hot as a blond, and you know what they say blondes have more fun, so you will have lots of fun, the boys will love you. But yellow clothes with it well that's just plain unattractive, and tacky" Inuyasha said in a girly voice

"Inucorpse you dog eared about to be dickless bitch" Sesshoumaru said flexing his claws

"Five, four, three, two, one, zero, and their off" whispered Kagome

"See ya big sis, smooches" Inuyasha said then blew Sesshoumaru a kiss, and took off running

"Hey guys? I got it all on video at this rate before I know it I'll have enough footage to make a movie" said a proud Kouga

30 minutes later Sesshoumaru returned, instead of chasing Inuyasha all day he had let Inuyasha get ahead, then sent an illusion of himself to chase the hanyou. He had a wicked plan of his own he went got something, then went into Inuyasha's room no one asked why but they knew, later on was going to be very interesting and the group could hardly wait for it to begin

Inuyasha did not come back till later that night "Oi where's the bastard? He asked "Choking his chicken again?

"He took a shower then went to bed" Kouga answered "Why don't you go choke your chicken? Then you would stop being such a total bitch" he needled

"Oh great now I can grab a shower, and go to bed without him fucking with me" Inuyasha replied "And you leave my chicken alone"

Inuyasha went up to his room, took his clothes off, and then went into his bathroom happy at the prospects of having a nice hot shower. He stepped into the shower, closed his eyes, then turned the water on, and in a second he was bright neon red, and reeked like skunk, the second he caught the stench his eyes snapped open, then he saw that he was red all over

Sesshoumaru had rigged his shower head with a liquid dye, mixed with skunk spray and not just any skunk he used demon skunks it was 10 times worse then regular skunks, at the same time he was immediately squirted with sticky honey. Poor Inuyasha would carry the foul scent for a week, Inuyasha's brain went into overload with deranged ideas to get even but which one would it be? and at the same time

"Sesshoumaruuuuu get out here you low life piece of shit, I'm going to fucking kill you ya prick" Inuyasha bellowed

Sesshoumaru was already on the first floor "Wow why little sis you look freakin hot with red hair, and you know what they say about redheads they are sweet natured, fiery, full of life, and love to have fun" Sesshoumaru ragged "And did I not tell you a million times or more not to eat honey in bed?

"Wenchmaru I'll show you hot redhead, full of life, and loves to have fun while I'm gutting you. And you know I hate honey asshole"

"My, my, my such a dirty mouth from an angelic looking beauty, and with such ill intentions" Sesshoumaru teased

"Fuck you Yukimaru" do you even like girls? Cause we're all wondering" Inuyasha said smirking to bust Sesshoumaru's balls "Bet ya sneak out to clubs dressed up as a girl to"

"Now Inuyasha that's going to far" Said Kagome "Sesshy's all man, a hot stud woof, and hung like a horse, and that's without a hard on"

"Cough shit cough" the others exclaimed

"Little brother do you wish me to show you what you do with a female? Sesshoumaru asked "And miko thanks for the compliment about my endowment"

"Yeah right lord ice sickle dick your so fucking cold if you ever did manage to get your dick inside a pussy you'd freeze it solid"

"Inuyasha shut up that's hitting way below the belt" said Kagome, Sesshoumaru only smiled evilly

"Oh really Frigidyasha" Sesshoumaru wisecracked he had a ball buster of his own he was going to spring "Maybe a real man needs to show you what to do"

"Yeah well when you find one let me know" Inuyasha shot back

All at the same time Sesshoumaru grabbed Kagome, put one hand on her ass, and the other cradling the back of her neck, and gave her the hottest kiss in history, he then slipped his tongue into her mouth. A spark went through them, Kagome put one leg around his hip, and brushed his tongue with hers, Kagome was as hot as a fire cracker she grabbed his ass and pulled him into her

"Hey what the fuck? Inuyasha snapped "Break it up"

Kagome pulled back "Whoa trust me he likes girls Inuyasha" Kagome said, then kissed Sesshoumaru again, and at the same time plunged her tongue into his mouth

"Alright, alright break it up" Inuyasha demanded, but they kept kissing "Come you two that's enough"

"Whoa Sesshoumaru go for it" Kouga, Jakotsu, Kagura, and Ayame said at the same time

"At a boy son" Sugimi said

Not getting a response from either of them, Inuyasha grabbed a hold of Sesshoumaru's hair and pulled. Without breaking the kiss Sesshoumaru kicked him catching him off guard knocking him into the wall, Inuyasha got back up, since the hair pulling didn't work, he grabbed Sesshoumaru by his shoulders pulling him back

"Son of a bitch" indignant Kagome cursed at the loss of contact with Sesshoumaru "Inuyasha you little pain in the ass joy killer, _**sit, sit, sit, sit, sit"**_

Crash "Kagome what the fuck? Inuyasha snapped "Wench '

"Little brother I have had enough" said Sesshoumaru "Can you not leave me alone for five seconds and let me enjoy one thing?

"You've had enough you dyed me red with a dye stink bomb, and on top of that honeyed me, ya ugly leprechaun"

"Yes and you dyed me yellow before I dyed you red, Inusasha, always up to no good little red riding hood" Sesshoumaru retorted

Fed up and pissed off over being separated from Kagome, Sesshoumaru without saying a single word grabbed Inuyasha, and with inhuman speed flew into the bathroom, put him into the shower, and turned the shower on drenching Inuyasha with ice cold water. In a split second Sesshoumaru bolted out of the bathroom, then leapt down to the first floor wanting, and ready for a good chase, he waited for the enraged hanyou to appear and he did not have to wait long

"Ooo, wet dog, wet dog" Kouga razzed

"Damn thought you knew how to use the toilet" Miroku teased

"Sesshoumaru I'm gonna rip your fucking face off, then shove it up your ass, you ugly ass gorilla"

"_**Inutasha is only 5 years old she's so slow she couldn't catch a cold, she's such a naughty pup he can't even get it up" **_Sesshoumaru ragged

Inuyasha ran down the stairs "Now you die" Inuyasha yelled

"Ooooo does this mean you love me, Yashy?" Sesshoumaru taunted while being chased and bolted out through the door "Why I did not know how much you cared, it warms my little heart I feel so wanted"

**The dangers of sleeping, hanyou meat, new friends**

**Lime starts**

Later that night as he lay over Kagome, Sesshoumaru's hand slowly and sensually moved up her thigh, then to her breast, he pulled her top down and gently suckled her nipple, then kissed her passionately. Kagome ground into him, while her hands roamed his body she wrapped her legs around his and arched her back, and was mindlessly drunk with want passion and lust

"Sesshoumaru" Kagome moaned

"Hm so this turns her on" he thought

"Sesshoumaru I want you now"

"And you will have me this right now"

Without checking first Inuyasha opened Sesshoumaru's bedroom door, and threw a big bucket of ice cold water on Sesshoumaru's, bed soaking both Sesshoumaru, and Kagome. Both leapt form the sudden shock of the cold water, Inuyasha was about to meet and hear a Kagome he never had before shocking everyone especially a certain and taiyoukai

**Lime ends**

"_**Inuyashaaaaa? **_Kagome screamed "You lousy little fucker"

"Kagome your in hear? Gulp, oh shit"

"I'm going to rip your cock off balls and all, and shove it so far up your ass that you'll have to suck your food through a fucking straw. Then I'm gonna eviscerate you, take your intestines and hang you with them you little shit, get back here and die like a man you flea bitten mutt" Kagome screamed

Sesshoumaru tried not to laugh "Little brother happy funeral, and have a nice slow death" he said leaving Kagome to punish him _**"Happy funeral to you, happy funeral to you see you when you come back all black and blue" **_he sang

"Gulp, Ka, Kagome I, I, I'm sorry, shit I, I am so dead" Inuyasha stammered while Kagome stalked toward him "You'll forgive me" won't you? Your not the type to hold a grudge"

"No not yet but your gonna be" she snapped

"Ah crap" Inuyasha said then ran down the stairs

"Don't run Yasha Kagsy wants to play, I won't hurt ya, well not much anyway" she taunted with a sadistic smile

"No way wench y, you're the devil you are"

Inuyasha made the mistake of running through the kitchen in his attempt to escape, Kagome saw a meat cleaver on the counter. Intent on scaring the shit out of Inuyasha she grabbed it, his eyes went wide with a mixture of fear and horror that covered his handsome face, then she played the ultimate dirty pool

"Sit" Kagome said then crash, she turned him over

"No, no, no Kagome please, I really am sorry?"

Kagome waved the cleaver back and forth "Hm, what to remove first?" she taunted "So many choice parts to choose from"

"What's going on? Kagura asked

"Seems that Inuyasha discovered the hard way that Kagome was in Sesshoumaru's room with him" said a lecherously grinning Miroku

"And just when they were about to do it, he opened Sessh's bedroom door then threw ice cold water on them" Kouga told them

"Ooooo, now he's learning albeit the hard way never fuck with a girl when she's all worked up and about to get laid" Ayame added "Poor puppy"

"Well that's what our little hanyou gets for not checking first, always make sure the intended victim is alone before the prank is sprung" said Jakotsu

"No wonder Sesshoumaru isn't pounding on, or trying to kill him, Kagome's more dangerous all by herself" Kouga said "And worse then Sessh right now"

"Hey wanna have some fun? Kagura asked

"I'm in" the others said

They all headed out to the backyard "Hey Kag's I'll take a thigh" said Kagura "Best and tenderest part of all

"I'd like a butt stake please" Ayame joked "Nothing like some raw good ass"

"Me I'm starving so I'll take an arm" Kouga added "You know us wolves we got to have our raw meat, yum what a treat"

"Kags honey can I please have a calf? Jakotsu sweetly asked

"You stinking rat bastards this ain't no butcher shop, and I'm not a piece of meat" how about a little help here? Inuyasha said

"Hanyou meat sounds good to me" Kagome said

"Save me the liver dear" Sugimi added

"Dad you back stabbing bastard" Inuyasha bit

Although Kagome had handled Inuyasha beautifully on her own, Sesshoumaru however wasn't done now all he had to do is wait it was going to be a fun morning. In the morning everyone was awoke by a high pitched unearthly scream, already dressed Sesshoumaru who had been waiting bolted to Inuyasha's door and held it closed by the knob so Inuyasha could not open it

"Ohhhhh fuck god's no" Inuyasha screamed

The poor hanyou tried in vain to open the door "What's wrong little brother? Sesshoumaru innocently asked

"The door Sessh, ahhhhh shit I can't open the door push while I pull"

"I am but it will not budge" what's going on in there? Sesshoumaru asked feigning innocence

"Snakes, I woke up with my bed full of fucking snakes, and you know how much I hate snakes, eeeeeeeee you little bastard get away" Inuyasha shrieked

"What's wrong? Asked a barely able to keep from laughing Sesshoumaru

"Ahhhhh shit the big fat one is crawling up my leg under my pants, get off son of a bitch, I'm gonna lose my dick the fucker crawled in my pants"

"Inuyasha calm yourself" Said Sesshoumaru, the others came out, with his finger to his lips Sesshoumaru signaled them to stay quiet

"Hey you little bastard that's mine, get off go get your own dick this ones mine" Inuyasha yelled

Sango doubled over holding her stomach with one hand, and the other hand clamped over her mouth trying not to laugh out loud, the others were propped in various positions trying their best to keep from bursting out laughing, before Sesshoumaru finally finished with his little game with Inuyasha

Unable to resist "Awww Inuyasha don't be that way the little fella just wants to see what an Inu dick looks, he probably heard rumors about their enormous size and wanted to see for himself" said Miroku "He probably feels intimidated by it's amazing size"

"Oh really monk cop a feel, lets put him down your pants then he can see human dick ya sick bastard, bet he'll be disappointed as hell"

"But Inuyasha my friend I could never compare to your awesome Inu magnificence" Miroku teased, poor Sesshoumaru was on his knees still holding onto the door knob with one hand and the other on his stomach it was cramping from his need to laugh

"What do you know guess Inuyasha found new friends" Kagome said

"The snakes crawl in, the snakes crawl out, over your butt and all about" Ayame teased

"Hey kids he's getting a nice snake massage" Kagura ragged

"Wait a minute snakes I hate snakes, and Sesshoumaru knows it. Sesshoumaruuuuu you bastard you put the snakes in here, let me out you fucker your holding on to the door" aren't you? Inuyasha screamed

"Why little brother I, I, I have only been trying to h, help you and you accuse me of such a vile misdeed" Sesshoumaru choked out "Why surely such a lowly thing is beneath me, and not worthy of my time"

"When I get out I'm gonna kill you, you dick"

"Inuyasha you pull while I push" said Sesshoumaru

"Well asshole let go of the damned door knob then I can get the hell out of here" Inuyasha yelled

"Now Inuyasha you mustn't scream like that those poor snakes are delicate, and are probably scared to death" Miroku ragged

"Yeah just like your gonna be when I get outta this room you soon to be dead perv, now let me out"

Sesshoumaru held on for a few more long seconds, and let Inuyasha pull, then suddenly let go Inuyasha pulled again, and fell back on his ass. Sesshoumaru jumped over the stairway railing down to the first floor, and bolted out of the house with a murderous hanyou hot on his heels, the others fell to the floor laughing till tears rolled from their eyes.

**That night**

While everyone was asleep Inuyasha quietly eased Sesshoumaru's door open, this time first making sure Kagome wasn't in there. Seeing it was all clear he snuck in, eased Sesshoumaru's comforter, and sheet back, and left his gift beneath put it back down then, quickly beat a hasty retreat and patiently and waited any minute now it was going to be fun

"Oh man I can hardly wait" Inuyasha said to himself

"Yeeeeeoww" what the fuck? Ooooouch, Inuyashaaaaa, you little bastard" Sesshoumaru

Screamed

"I may be a bastard but I ain't little" Inuyasha taunted

"You are going to die slow and painfully"

Dear sweet Inuyasha gave Sesshoumaru the gift that keeps on giving five really pissed off raccoons, in his nice king size bed. Inuyasha ran but was just a second to late and Sesshoumaru was on him, Sesshoumaru latched onto the back waist of Inuyasha's pants and dropped one of the raccoons inside

"Damn you Sesshoumaru" if Inuyasha had an idea what he was in for next he'd never come home "Ow I'm gonna lose my dick nuts and all"

Sesshoumaru beat Inuyasha getting home, knowing Inuyasha would use his Inu senses to check he went to his room, slowed his heart rate, and breathing to appear as if he were asleep. Inuyasha snuck in went to his room and thinking Sesshoumaru was really asleep stripped and put his pajamas on, climbed into bed and drifted off to sleep

Sesshoumaru waited like a snake to strike, he crept into Inuyasha's room, lifted up his bed clothes, dropped his surprise underneath, quickly put them back, and then ran like hell out of the room. Sesshoumaru like a kid on Christmas morning was eagerly waiting for the discovery to be made, a few seconds later

"Eeeeeeeeew" kami's what the hell? How the fuck did this? Sessbastardmaruuu" Inuyasha screamed

The smells like a sewer stink bomb went off under the bed covers on Inuyasha's bed, Inuyasha came charging out of his room intent on killing Sesshoumaru. It wasn't till he heard the others who he had woke up with his scream gasped, he stopped, looked and saw he was wearing ladies pink pajamas, with bright yellow flowers all over them

"Oh no" said Inuyasha with his head down, and his face buried in his hands in shame Sesshoumaru had switched his men's pajamas replacing them with women's pajamas

"Ooo flowersyasha you've never looked lovelier, but your rank phew go take a bath" will you please? Before we all die" Sesshoumaru taunted "You know you need to wash your back door at least once a week"

"Why who is this young fertile beauty, we have here?" Miroku teased

"Yes and I'm letting you know up front sweetie that Inuyasha's mine and I do not share" Jakotsu said just to gripe Inuyasha "After all I am a jealous bitch"

"_**Here she is miss Japan she won the beauty contest because she's the best, **_

_**With a killer rack that keeps the boys coming back. **_

_**And because she is so great we have to get her a mate" **_Miroku, Kouga, and Jakotsu sang

"I hate you one and all" Inuyasha said in a defeated tone "Men are such bitches, and you Sesshoumaru you I'm gonna kill, then bring you back with tensseiga and kill you again so slowly you'll beg me to finish you"

"Catch me if you can peter pan" Sesshoumaru taunted

"Don't worry snatch lips I will"

"Little brother I already know you're a snatch" why do you keep telling me? Sesshoumaru replied

"Ooooo shut up Tartmaru" Inuyasha snapped, then chased Sesshoumaru

**My new bodyguard**

A few of days before new year's day Sesshoumaru started having Kagome sleep in his room with him at nigh., Inuyasha did not know yet but would soon find out the hard way, that night Inuyasha ready to pull another sick prank crept to, then eased Sesshoumaru's bedroom door open

"Inuyasha don't even think about it" Kagome said "Try and you die"

"Ka, Kagome ah crap Pussymaru's got a body guard,. coward"

"Little brother why don't you go buy a skate board ? Then wait till rush hour on the highway and go play in the traffic" Sesshoumaru said smirking

"Right after you mate a cactus" Inuyasha retorted "And why don't you make like a bat, go under the overpass, and hang upside down from the ceiling? And if ya fall down during rush hour then oops"

"Darers go first Batyasha" Sesshoumaru wise cracked

"Shut it you frustrated wench" Inuyasha said "Got your G string in a twist?

"Why Inumara you poor wench, is it that time of the month dear?"

"Up yours you girl trying to look like a man, so guess that makes you a he she bitch" hah? Inuyasha retorted, closed the door and left

"Hehehe, with the miko in here I am safe in my room now" Sesshoumaru thought

Sesshoumaru's plan worked perfectly he knew that Inuyasha would not dare try anything in his room while Kagome was there. Now he could sleep in peace, and that he did after he wrapped himself around Kagome, She was the best bed buddy, and little heater he ever had

**Cake, the leprechaun, cupid, and dog pound blues**

Sesshoumaru had his cook make the new year's cake, as always Inuyasha tried to swipe a piece, and that set Yura the family cook off, she chased him whacking him across his ass with the broom. Wile the chase continued. Inuyasha yelped, and tried to con her with promises that he'd be good, but that did not tame, or quell Yura's fury

"Inuyasha Taisho you little troll every year you try to swipe a piece of the cake, one would think you never had cake before" Yura scolded

"Ah come on Yura just one little piece, I am a lord your supposed to give me one. She chases me cause she loves me"

"I said no now get out of my kitchen before I dissect you" Yura said chasing him out of the kitchen, while whacking him with the broom, and a meat cleaver in the other hand

"I'll buy you a nice red jaguar if you let me have just one little sliver"

"No now quit trying to bribe me" she said "I did not bake that cake for you to ruin it by cutting into it"

Inuyasha waited Yura had to go to the store to pick up some things for the new years dinner, when she was gone for about 5 minutes he decided to go for it. He looked and saw no one was around, took a knife and cut into the bottom of the three layer cake, the second the knife went in the cake exploded like a bomb, covering him with dyed bright green honey the poor sticky hanyou was stuck like glue

"Assholemaru" where are you? You fucktard, come out here you pussy" where are you hiding, coward?" oh god's how I hate you"

For the first time in all the years Inuyasha tried to steal a piece of the new years cake never did Sesshoumaru booby trap it, or prank Inuyasha, but this time Sesshoumaru was ready, and was determined to hopefully deter him from doing it ever again. He hid letting Inuyasha fume, the others came running to see the show, Sesshoumaru finally came out Yura had returned just in time to witness Sesshoumaru's handiwork

"Hehehe, my pretty pup" Sugimi teased

"Ooo, a money dog" Yura ragged

"Happy saint Patrick's day little brother, why I see your already dressed for the occasion" may I say you make a lovely leprechaun? Sesshoumaru razzed

"It ain't Saint Patrick's day you fucking asshole, it's slaughter a taiyoukai shit head day, first I'm gonna scalp ya, then kill you nice and slow" you got that wench? Inuyasha threatened

"Hey mister leprechaun where's your pot of gold? And your supposed to grant three wishes" Miroku ragged

"Shut the hell up Buttroku" Inuyasha wise cracked

"Hey mutt face you never looked this good in your life" Kouga added

"Kiss my ass Kouganna" Inuyasha retorted

"Ooooo, Inuyashy you look so yummy I could just lick, and eat you up" Jakotsu teased

"Eeew, wanna die Jakotsa? Inuyasha ragged

"Ouch rough trade" Jakotsu replied "Bet it hurts so good"

"Aw what a cute little leprechaun" Ayame, Sango, Kagome, and Yura teased

"Listen wenches I ain't little, and I'm not a mother fucking leprechaun" Inuyasha snapped

"He will bring a constant flow of good luck to our house" Sugimi needled

Inuyasha spotted a big bowl of cranberry sauce, using his demonic speed in a flash he poured it over Sesshoumaru's head, as it ran down Sesshoumaru's head and body it dyed him a lovely shade of red

"Happy Valentines day Butthmaru, you make a beautiful cupid make a wish ladies cupid is here, he will grant and make any of your romantic wishes come true" Inuyasha taunted smiling evilly

"Hm a waste of my time" was all unusually calm Sesshoumaru said, before he turned and walked away then went to his bathroom for a shower

"Hah he finally knows when he's been beaten, and yields to the master" cocky Inuyasha said then left

"You know Sesshoumaru was just to damn calm it's almost scary" said Miroku and shivered a bit

"Yes and what ever it is he's going to do is going to be epic" Yura said "That cake wasn't the real new years cake, the real one is hidden

"Yup" the others agreed

"I've worked for the Taisho family since those two were mere pups, but never in all my years here have I ever seen them this bad with pranks" Yura told them

About an hour later Inuyasha was sitting watching TV, the door bell rang Sesshoumaru answered it, and let the men in, then silently pointed to the living room where Inuyasha was sitting. Before Inuyasha knew what hit him he was in a net, and got shot with a trank dart, the two guys were from animal control, and were also Sesshoumaru's buddies

"Se, Se Sess shou maru" was all Inuyasha said before he dozed off to sleep

Inuyasha woke up in in a cage, in the dog pound, and kind of high because he'd been given a tranquilizer shot by Sesshoumaru's friend the vet to keep him docile. Next he was taken out of the cage, got a flea bath, then examined, blood was drawn, then he was given all the shots dogs get, he kept saying he was not a dog the vet pretended he heard nothing then pet, and scratched behind his ears

Then his ears were cleaned, a collar and tags were put around his neck with the name Rover Taisho on them. Later he was given a bowl of dog food, and water which he was fuming over but was to drugged to do anything about. 3 hours later, he woke up, the cage had been conveniently left open, and the back door unlocked, just as they had planned Inuyasha made his big escape, and the vet called Sesshoumaru and told him

"Oh maybe I shouldn't have tried to swipe a piece of that damn cake, or poured the

cranberry sauce over Sesshs's head" Inuyasha thought

The poor vet, and animal control guys almost pissed their pants laughing, Sesshoumaru was patiently awaiting the arrival of Rover Taisho. Inuyasha was so frazzled that he had forgotten to take the dog collar, and tags off his neck, Inuyasha finally made it home he had ran all the way, and when he entered the house he was greeted with

"Welcome home Rover Taisho we missed you" did you know you won first place at the dog show? Ah to think he is a pedigree dog and belongs to me" said Sesshoumaru smiling evilly

Inuyasha said nothing and went up to his room, he was to tired to care about fighting, or pranking anymore. That afternoon he came down, wolfed down his lunch, then went back up to his room and slept till the next morning

**New year's day bonds **

It was the day before new year's day Sugimi, and Sesshoumaru had bought, and given everyone beautiful gifts, the women's eyes all bugged out when they opened theirs in each little black velvet box was a sterling silver necklace with a heart on a chain and a diamond in the middle. The men got sterling silver diamond cufflinks they all gasped in surprise, and thanked Sugimi, and Sesshoumaru, each staff member got a generous cash gift

"Hey where's Ayame? Asked Inuyasha

"Somewhere" Sesshoumaru answered

Then over in the far corner of the living room there sat an oddly shaped object, Inuyasha was curious "Sessh what the hell is that thing over there in the corner? Asked Inuyasha

"It's for you an extra gift for being good, and no it is not a prank"

"Really? Inuyasha asked

"Yes Inuyasha really"

"Thanks big bro"

Inuyasha eagerly went over to, and carefully peeled the wrapping paper off of it. Then he saw what it was his angelic eyes went wide, he smiled, and his face lit up as bright as the sun. It was Ayame dressed in a sexy sky blue short dress that hugged every curve in all the right places

"Sessh this is the best gift ever thanks big bro" Inuyasha said then kissed Ayame

"Your welcome"

"Awww" the others said with smiles

The dinner was beautiful there was roast beef, turkey, a variety of vegetables, fruits, and snacks,. Even the real new year's three layer cake that Sesshoumaru had stashed so Inuyasha couldn't get at it

"Sesshoumaru, the cake?" Inuyasha inquired

"Yes little brother this is the original cake intended for the dinner, the one that exploded was a booby trapped decoy"

"Sessh I gotta give you props that was pure freakin genius, I admire your sneakiness" Inuyasha praised

"Why thank you little brother"

"Awww brotherly love, I will never get tired of it" Jakotsu teased

"Their at peace for now anyway" Sugimi commented

**Lime starts**

Under the table that was covered with a table cloth, Sesshoumaru had his hand on Kagome's knee and slowly slid it up her thigh till it was under her dress and reached his prize, he then stroked her center with the back of his fingers. She immediately became hot to the touch, she put her hand on his and gave it a gentle squeeze of approval, Sesshoumaru then put his whole hand between her legs and massaged her heated core, she almost came right there

So Kagome reached over and put her hand between his legs, that's when she found out about his very large impressive package, she gently rubbed up and down his shaft. He stifled a gasp he was now so hard he could chop trees with his aching appendage. Kagome leaned into him and gave him a hot kiss, but when she took his ear between her teeth and gently nipped it that's when she quickly found herself thrown over his shoulder and hauled up to his room

**Lime ends**

"Guess it's humping time" Sugimi joked

"Horny bastard it's about freakin time" Inuyasha said with a big smile

"Yes I was waiting for that" Miroku said with a lecherous

"New years nooky" Kouga joked

"Train's gonna keep rolling all night boys" Kagura said

"Fuck Sessh gave Kagome a more thorough exam under the table then a gynecologist in his office does" Inuyasha said, then smirked

**Lemon starts**

Sesshoumaru locked the door behind him, walked over to the bed, set Kagome on her feet, stood in front of her, took her in his arms, and kissed her senseless, she explored his sweet tasting mouth with her tongue and he hers. He slowly moved his hands down her back, waist, and hips, to her ass while trailing kisses down her neck, then pulled her into him, Sesshoumaru slipped his hands under her dress, and worked his way up to her full breasts feeling them

He slowly and sensually pulled her sexy dress up, and slipped it off of over her head, and watched as it fell to the floor, it had a built in bra and once the dress was gone she stood there before him bare chested, He gently suckled them hungrily like a new born pup, Kagome reached up and unbuttoned his shirt, she felt his wide muscular chest, and slowly kissed, and nipped her way down to his stomach

Their hands roamed each other's bodies, she felt his manhood then opened his pants, and slid them under wear and all down past his hips, when she saw his shaft she gasped "See something you like? He teased "It's all yours do with it what you will?

"You ought to be required to have a license to carry that thing" she said

"Well my dear he's your responsibility now"

"Well then I shall call him Ru" she said, then took hold of it "Hello Ru, you my new best friend" she teased

"Ru wants to go cave exploring" Sesshoumaru teased "What about Coco does she want to play to?

"Doctor Taisho Coco has a fever and needs her temperature taken"

"Oh she does" does she? Lets see I think I have the cure for that" Sesshoumaru teased

"Yes doctor Sesshy she does"

He easily stepped out of his shoes, and pants, while he kissed Kagome she slipped his shirt down over his broad muscular shoulders, it dropped to the floor and pooling around his feet, Kagome pulled back "Sesshoumaru please I need you?

"I shall not deny you, mine, your mine" he said loving but possessively

He picked her up and gently laid her on the center of the bed, Sesshoumaru kissed her thighs up to her stomach. then licked his way up to her breasts. he licked between her breasts then swirled the tip of his hot tongue around her nipples. She arched her back, he

positioned himself between her legs, with his eyes locked on hers

At exactly 12: am new years day he entered her burying himself up to the hilt inside her hot cavern, even though it was her first time she did not flinch or cry out in pain. She was so hot she climaxed the second he was in all the way. Kagome put her hands on his ass and pulled him to her he got the message and continued moving, at the same time they climaxed he bit into her neck, then she his

"Happy new year mate" he greeted after they released their fanged grips on each other

"Happy new year, I love you"

"And I you" Sesshoumaru replied , still inside her, and hard again

"Harder Sesshoumaru please?

"I am going to make love to you until we're to exhausted to move"

"_**Oh god's yes Sesshoumaruu" **_

"_**Ahhh Kagome" **_they both called out and continued making love for hours

**Lemon ends**

"Hehehe, Sesshoumaru's buttering the toast" Miroku joked

"Hey where's Inuyasha, and Ayame? Asked Sango

"I think dear Yasha got a little 12: am new year's day goodies" Miroku said, then grinned lecherously

"Yup" Kagura agreed

"That's exactly when they became mates Sesshoumaru, and Kagome to I sensed and scented it" Kouga told them

"Woo hoo double the reason to celebrate plus every year it'll be their anniversary" said excited Jakotsu

"Wait till they have pups" Yura commented

"At last I will have grand pups" Sugimi said

"Yeah and if they have male pups I wonder if they'll follow their fathers footsteps and have prank wars? Kouga asked

"Ah crap another generation of Taisho prank wars, I will never survive it, don't even say that as a joke" said Yura

**The next morning**

9: am it was breakfast time "Hey Inuyasha do you need some Tylenol? Miroku asked

"Or some pain killers? Kouga inquired

"A back brace maybe?" Sugimi added

"What the hell are you three morons talking about? I'm mated idiots I ain't got a migraine, just you three pains in the ass, and I've got the cure for that all I have do to is pound ya" Inuyasha wise cracked

"We're not talking about a headache" Miroku said

"Then what are you imbeciles talking about? Come on ass triplets spit it out" Inuyasha ragged

"Mutt face it must hurt like hell" hah?

"Kouga you dick you better start talking now or I'm gonna pound all three of you now spill it before I really get pissed" Inuyasha snapped

"Okay dog breath don't get your panties in a twist, you've been deflowered so that means your poor wittle dicky wicky must hurt like hell" Kouga taunted

"No boys it is severely broken" Sugimi teased

"Stripped of it's bark and left bare" Miroku needled "Must sting, hah?"

"That's it you bastards are dead" Inuyasha said then leapt over the table and the chase was on

**New pups, and new terrors**

The following year at the same time Ayame, and Kagome each had twin pups a boy and girl, Kagome named the boy Maru, and the girl Sakura. Ayame named the boy Yasha, and the girl Satsuki, the two boys Yasha, and Maru just like their fathers carried on the grand tradition of prank wars, the girls were the opposite unless provoked

One day the two little devils decided that it was lets have fun with dad time after Sesshoumaru, and Inuyasha thwarted one of their infamous prank battles. Inuyasha, and Sesshoumaru chased them toward the back door, their pups leapt, and escaped, however when Sesshoumaru, and Inuyasha got to the threshold they tripped, and fell the two little monsters had booby trapped the bottom of the entry way with a thin wire

"Oh why did I have pups? both Sesshoumaru, and Inuyasha said in the same breath while they lay on the ground

"I wish I just had girls, our daughters are angels, and the boys devils" Inuyasha said

"Agreed"

"Like father like sons" Sugimi teased "See how it feels boys"

"Your dead I'm gonna kill both of you" Inuyasha yelled when Yasha, and Maru laughed at them, and stuck their tongues out at them. Inuyasha jumped up intent on murder, Sesshoumaru remained calm he had his own plan

"No Inuyasha stop" Sesshoumaru said, just when Inuyasha was about to lunge for them, and grabbed the collar of his shirt pulling him back

"Hah? What? Why? Come on Sessh I promise I won't hurt them, just let me kill em a little" He said and turned to look at Sesshoumaru

"Look Inuyasha"

Inuyasha turned and looked there Satsuki, and Sakura had their brothers in headlocks giving them rug burn noogies "You leave our fathers alone" both girls said at the same time

"Wow well Sessh thank the kami's we had female pups not only do we have protection. but those two little ingrates get their asses kicked. and best of all by girls, hehehe" Inuyasha proudly stated

"Remember the family tradition boys?" Sugimi reminded his sons

"Family tradition? The boys asked with fear filled eyes

"Yes father I do" smiling sadistically Sesshoumaru answered "Little brother when our daughters are done I have a treat of my own for them" he said while removing the wire from the door way

"Sessh you evil bastard, guess they don't know who they're fucking with, hehehe" Inuyasha exclaimed

The Inu fathers continued to watch, and saw when next their darling daughters sat down put Maru, and Yasha over their laps and spanked their brothers asses. They tried in vain to escape but Satsuki had Inuyasha's rotten temper, and Sakura had Kagome's the boys no matter how strong or rotten they were had no hope of ever winning

"Oh holy shit Sessh you wouldn't? Inuyasha said suspecting what he was up to

"Oh wouldn't I?

"Puppy pound" Inuyasha said

"Hehehe" was Sesshoumaru's response

"Ah you learned well my sons" Sugimi said "This takes me back"

"Gramps help? The boys called to Sugimi

"Sorry boys I cant do that, you dug your own graves"

Sakura, and Satsuki let them go "Have you boys learned anything, hm? Sesshoumaru innocently asked with a grin

"Yeah you two mutts, have ya?" Inuyasha added

"Yeah girls suck" Yasha, and Maru answered, in a flash Sesshoumaru had the two pups by the collars of their shirts the two bratty pups soon found themselves in dog cages

"Welcome to the puppy pound boys, this is where bad pups, and dogs get locked up until they learn to behave. Incase your wondering it is a time honored family tradition passed down from generation to generation, you won't go hungry you'll be fed, and watered" Sesshoumaru said, a while later a bowl of dog food, and water were put in their cages

"Ah ha, ha, ha, ha, ha" Sakura, and Satsuki ragged, and fell on their asses laughing "boys are so dumb" they said

Ayame, and Kagome came out "Mom help let us out?" the boys asked "Dads gone nuts"

"Sorry that's up to your fathers boys" Kagome said

"Yep we can't interfere, relax it'll be over in a couple of days" Ayame told them

"What? Oh mom" Maru, and Yasha whined

"Yeah you two little creeps should never have put that trip wire in the doorway like that, I'm bad enough, but Sesshoumaru is ten times worse, and can hold a grudge forever they don't call him killing perfection for nothing" right Sessh?

"Right little brother"

Inuyasha had to just one time get a bit of his own revenge he took the garden hose and hosed them down with it, then put orange dye stink bombs in their cages "Wanna know why I did such a rotten thing to you two brats? Cause when you put that trip wire in the doorway you could have killed, or seriously injured someone, even we never did that"

"Don't they look just like a couple of sun flowers Sessh? Sugimi asked

"Indeed they do"

"You see boys Sessh, and I have been doing this shit long before you were even born never try to prank the masters. My two little sunny oranges" Inuyasha told them

"You suck dad" both boys whined in unison

"Ah shut it or I'll put ya in dresses, then plaster pictures of you all over the neighborhood. And if you get to bad I'll put it on the internet to" Inuyasha promised

"Gulp" was heard

"Little brother you are one sick puppy" Sesshoumaru said

"I know" hehehe "Can't help it dude it's in the Taisho blood"

"Well I will send them to the dog pound where they'll be put in cages, get all their dog shots, be fed dog food, and water, have to wear dog collars, and tags. And be put on display, then get adopted hopefully by some nice family" Sesshoumaru said, scaring the shit out of them

"Holy shit Sesshoumaru they're gonna shit bricks" Inuyasha whispered

"That's the idea"

"No, no, no, I'm sorry father I'll be good" they said, they called Inuyasha, and Sesshoumaru father instead of dad trying to con them

"Aw puppy bribery, now that takes me back" Sugimi said

"See just ask your grandfather" Sesshoumaru told them

"Ohhhhh" the boys whined

"And boys" Sugimi said

"Yes grandfather? Yasha, and Maru replied instead of saying gramps trying to con him

"If after you are let out and you act up I will make you scrub all the floors on your hands and knees with a tooth brush. And if you persist after that I'll make you go through the whole neighborhood and clean up after the dogs"

"Nooooooo" they protested

Inuyasha, Sesshoumaru their mates and father laughed their asses off "Damn pops your lethal" Inuyasha commented

"You know it pup, you know it" Sugimi answered


	2. Chapter 2, Twisted Canine War

**Disclaimer I don't own Inuyasha Rumiko Takahashi, and VIZ Media do, Rated R**

With Inuyasha in turbo practical joke overdrive it is going to be a Sesshoumaru, Inuyasha war. And all Sugimi and the gang can do is sit back wait and watch. Inu accidently pranks his father and learns the true meaning of fathers revenge hell as Sugimi unleasheses his twisted side. Written for** New Year 2012**, lol and happy new year everybody, complete one shot, Sessh/Kag

**Happy New Year Taisho Style 2**

**By Raven 2010, and XxSoliexHiddenxX**

**Boom, let us start a family, flames and fire, magnetic attraction**

Inuyasha was about to find out that karma was a real bitch, and the bitch showed no mercy, he rigged a whoopee cushion with a special surprise, and then set in on Sesshoumaru's chair. Later on Sesshoumaru sat on the chair the second his butt touched it sparks flew out as firecrackers went off, Sesshoumaru turned his eyes to his soon to be dead brother with a look that said there'd be no survivors

"Wow sounds like somebody needs some fart stopping medicine. I could go get you some at the pharmacy," Inuyasha taunted

"While you're at it purchase yourself a headstone, coffin, and grave site, then dig your own grave, because you will need it soon," Sesshoumaru told him

"Damn fluffy it isn't my fault you've got an ass full of explosive gas"

"Fear not little brother I will show you gas" Sesshoumaru promised smiling evilly

"See you in the after life mutt" Kouga teased

"Well I will be minus one pup before the day has ended" Sugimi said "Oh well I'll just have to make another one" he teased

"Wonderful then I will be an only child. Oh what a precious and the best gift of my life this will be" Sesshoumaru exclaimed

"Happy funeral" to you the others said

"What? Wait, what the hell do you mean make another one?" Indignant Inuyasha asked

"Yes pup after Sesshoumaru kills you I will have to make another one" Sugimi replied

"Oh yeah, with who?"

"Miko would you be willing to help me with that? Sugimi asked

Playing along with it, Kagome answered, "Why I'd be honored to"

"_**Whaaaaat" **_Inuyasha bellowed for all to hear

"Well you always call him old dog, but you know what they say old dogs have the best bones" Kagome said to drive him nuts

"Care to start now miko? Sugimi sweetly asked

"Yes Kagsy needs some boning" Kagome teased

"Oh fuck no" Inuyasha bit, then lunged for his father, Sesshoumaru tripped him, and held him down with one foot on his back "Bitch"

"Clumsy oaf" Sesshoumaru said loving the torment they were inflicting upon him Sesshoumaru wanted a piece of the action "Miko father go ahead I will keep the pest occupied" he said

"Thank you" they replied, then disappeared in a ball of light

"Sesshoumaruuuuu, you stupid son of a bitch, let me up now" Inuyasha bellowed

"Well guess Kagome's getting some of the old dog's bone, hehehe" laughing Miroku ragged

"Yee ha ride that big stallion all night long" Kouga needled

"Yes father will be playing a very enjoyable game of ride the miko," smiling Sesshoumaru added

"Indoor pool is the best" Bankotsu teased

"Yup and he does have a long pool cue" raunchy sense of humor Kagura ragged

"Yep Inuyasha it goes like this. Oh, oh Sugimi yes gods yes" equally raunchy Sango needled

"Oh Sugimi it's so big" Ayame added

"Shut uuuuup, damn you broads are sick" Inuyasha yelled, "I think I'm fucking scarred for life. Think I am going to be sick, damn insane wenches" he said then left

When he was gone "Hehehe, works every time" Ayame stated

"Yup, Sessh now he is to mentally messed up to think about revenge" Sango exclaimed

"Thank you ladies, and male friends"

"Man when they return Kagsy should tell Yasha she's pregnant" Ayame joked

A week later and after making a full recovery Inuyasha came out of his room and made an appearance, he was also up to no earthly good, he set a trap and waited for Sesshoumaru. Sesshoumaru walked toward then entered the living room the second he did fire crackers were ready to go off, but at the same time an odd thing happened like magnets drawn to metal they flew away from their intended target and stuck to something else

"Ahhhhhhh, ow, ow, ow" Inuyasha shrieked when they began to explode "What the ow fuck?"

"Happy New Year ahead of time little brother" smiling evilly Sesshoumaru exclaimed

"Son of a bitch, how?"

"Simple fool let me explain it so your pea sized feeble little mind will understand it, you've been magnetized" Sesshoumaru answered, "You can thank me later"

"Magna what? You asshole" Inuyasha bit

"Oh wow an inu sparkler" Kouga razzed as the exploding firecrackers continued going off flashing multi colors

"Oh man it's the fourth of July come early," Sango, teased

"Ouch, gods ow damn it ouch this shit ain't ow funny" Inuyasha managed to get out between shrieks of pain

"Inuyasha? Sugimi called

"Ya, what?

"Did I not tell you no playing with firecrackers in the house? Sugimi asked

"Did you?

"Do not try to play dumb with me pup we both know you do" Sugimi scolded

"Maybe I do, I don't know" Inuyasha wisecracked "Maybe I have dognesia"

"Yes you have amnesia like I have golden hair"

"You could always get it dyed blond" Inuyasha ragged "Bet you'd be a real hotttie"

"I will do that right after you get a vagina implant"

"Eew, not if my life depended on it" Inuyasha shot back "You sicko"

"You could get neutered instead" Sugimi needled

"Fuck yo" he started then "Ow, ow, ow, put it out, I'm gonna die" Inuyasha shrieked as his ass caught on fire from the last firecracker going off

"Cook out everybody, quick I'll get the hotdogs" Kouga said

"And I'll get the buns" Bankotsu added

"Marshmallows, we can roast marshmallows," Kagome said

"A barbecued steak would be nice" Sango teased

"I'm going to set up the table" Miroku exclaimed

"Fear not little brother I will help you" Sesshoumaru said, left then quickly returned with a large can in hand "This will quench the flames" Sesshoumsru then poured the liquid over him

A few seconds later "Holy hell, what is that stench"? Inuyasha asked "Sniff, sniff, bastard you soaked me with skunk piss"

"Your welcome little brother" gloating Sesshoumaru said

"Use water dill hole not fucking skunk piss"

"What are you bitching about? The fire's been put out" hasn't it? Sesshoumaru needled

"Idiot"

"Little brother this is my thanks and gift to you for that lovely and special whoopee cushion you gifted me with" Sesshoumaru reminded

"Cook out's off people, the mutt went rancid" Kouga ragged

"Awww" the others responded

**The hot seat, oh Christmas tree**

Inuyasha waited for a day to pass, he set a booby trap for Sesshoumaru and waited, when all were seated breakfast was served, Sesshoumaru took his seat he got a surprise it was very hot, Sesshoumaru did something uncharacteristic of him "Inuyasha you little bastard now you are going fucking to pay" he screamed

"Uh oh" The fool hanyou exclaimed

"Whoa Sessh never swears" Kagome stated

"This surprises even me," Sugimi said

"Well as long as he's the one that is getting killed and not us," Bankotsu joked

"N, now Sessh calm down after all you did skunk pee me," Inuyasha said

"Really and that is how you justify this? That is nothing compared to this shit you ass swipe" Sesshoumaru barked "Oh this time you went to far, bastard you gave me a gods damned hot seat"

"Shit" Inuyasha exclaimed

Inuyasha as fast as he was made a valiant try and ran but he did not get very far before Sesshoumaru caught him, Sesshoumaru quickly tied a broom stick to a coat rack like a cross, then tied Inuyasha to it with his arms stretched straight out and stood him in the corner. Feeling generous he used his speed went out collected some pine tree branches came back and swiftly attached them to Inuyasha in layers like a tree. He then decorated him with lights and ornaments, plugged the lights in and turned them on

"Ooo look it's a hanyou tree" Kouga teased

"An inu Christmas tree, the first in history, complete with decorations to" Sango ragged

"Aw he's so pretty" Kagura razzed

"This is the best Christmas I have ever seen in all my life," Sugimi added

"And look his branches are so thick and full" Miroku commented, Inuyasha growled in frustration

"_**Oh Christmas inu tree, oh Christmas inu tree how lovely are your branches, so thick and full so green and with your Christmas lights so bright you'll light our way through the darkest night**_

_**Oh Christmas hanyou tree, oh Christmas hanyou tree your so wide big and strong that is why we sing this song" **_Miroku Sesshoumaru, Bankotsu, Sugimi, Jakotsu, and Kouga sang

"Growl" was Inuyasha's response, he was gagged so he couldn't run his mouth

Evil Sesshoumaru was not done yet "Miko is it ready yet?

"Yes Sessh" Kagome answered

All sat and in front of Inuyasha and ate ramen "Whine, whine" came from Inuyasha

"Inuyasha sama you have behaved very un lordly so this is part of your punishment," Sugimi teased

"Growl"

"This Sesshoumaru thanks you for this delicious treat" Sesshoumaru ragged

**Frosty surprise, motherly love**

A couple of days later still seething Inuyasha was hell bent on revenge after the Christmas tree incident, he waited for Sesshoumaru to go into the shower. Sesshoumaru turned the water on when it was just right he stepped in the second he got under the nice warm water it simultaneously turned freezing cold, and the shower head fell off causing huge gushes of icy cold water to pour down on him

"Hehehe, bastard" the thrilled gloating hanyou exclaimed

"Inuyasha ass hat Taisho, I am going to rip your gods damned head off" the voice screamed

"Gulp, oh no shit it cant be" Inuyasha said

"But it is dog breath" grinning Kouga stated

"Dad" Inuyasha exclaimed

"Yes little brother father it is" Sesshoumaru gloatingly stated, "If you had bothered to pay attention and check first you'd have known that. The shower in his room is being repaired so he's using mine"

"Crap"

"Yes dear mutt face crap" Kouga needled

"Shit, got to go" Inuyasha replied

"Going somewhere pup? Sugimi who now had Inuyasha by the throat asked

"D, dad I, I, I thought Sessh was in there" He stammered, "I didn't know"

"And your point is? Sugimi replied

"If you blame anyone you should blame him, it's his fault" was Inuyasha's idea of logic "His shower, see what I mean?"

"Ohhh shit" the others exclaimed

"Were you born stupid, or did you buy it in the store known as morons INC? Sango needled

"Yes he does seem to have an overabundance of it" doesn't he? Sesshoumaru added

"Yashy you dirty dog Sesshy's innocent" Jakotsu scolded

"Yeah man up and take responsibility for what you did. Oh but I forgot that it takes a being with boy parts to be a man, oops my bad" Miroku insulted

"Hey asshole I'm all man" Inuyasha growled

"Cough PMS, ing wuss cough" the rest ragged

"Dad what the fuc? Inuyasha started when Sugimi thumped him over the head knocking him out

"Now my pup your in for a real treat, hehehe" Sugimi said, and laughed

About an hour later Inuyasha came around and felt a warm blanket wrapped around him he reached out one hand and felt it was a fur one, he rubbed his eyes then opened them, his golden eyes now focused he saw it and shrieked. He was being held in the loving embrace of a female guerilla, yep he was in the cage with her at the zoo, he looked when he heard someone whistle then growled when he saw Kagura, Bankotsu, Sugimi and the gang standing there taking pictures

Inuyasha was scared shitless "Gulp, crap how the hell am I going to get out of this one?" he thought

"Make nice mutt she's giving you motherly love" Kouga needled, Inuyasha gave him the finger

Inuyasha tried to escape and that's when the gorilla tightened her hold on her new baby, picked up the bottle Sugimi had so nicely made sure was sitting on the floor of the cage, and shoved the baby bottle nipple into his mouth "Start sucking rat face she will not let go until you do" Ayame told him

"Oh what the hell it's only milk, what harm could it do?" Inuyasha thought

"Oh my god this is going to be freaking priceless" Bankotsu commented

"Poor thing I almost feel sorry for him, almost" Kagome said

"Oh well might as well get this over with" Inuyasha thought, then started sucking the second the liquid hit tongue he knew it was liver mixed with milk "Son's of bitches he thought"

"That's a good baby eat the num, nums" Sango teased

"Good boy I am so proud of you," Sugimi teased

"Way to go dog breath," Kouga added

Inuyasha squirmed and struggled in vain he turned his head away but it did no good she held the bottle firmly to his mouth and held him so he could not move, his only option was to drink it and pray that she'd let him go. It was slow going and like torture from hell but he slowly drank it, when he was done he was happy at the thoughts of being let go, but instead found himself being held up with his head on his shoulder with her gently patting his back to burp him

"Come on little mama I ate that disgusting crap" please can't you just let me go now? Inuyasha said

"Grunt" was her response

"Oh alright but after I burp you let me go, deal?" he replied

"Uh" she grunted

"Oh this is not going to work I don't have gas" Inuyasha mumbled, then "Buuuuuuurp" accompanied by a long loud huge thunderous fart echoed throughout the zoo causing all eyes to fall on him "Oh I'm gonna die" he said then buried his embarrassed face in her fur

"Hehehehe" the gorilla laughed, then put him down

"Ohhh" Inuyasha moaned, and tried to hide in her fur until all the people left

"Aw look he doesn't want to leave mommy, how cute," Ayame, teased

"_**Rock a bye mutt face on the tree top when his farts blow the cradle will rock **_

_**When the branches break and fall down will come dog breath dead tree and all,"**_ Kouga sang

"That's it Kouga you prick now you die" the enraged hanyou screamed

Inuyasha was in such a rage he bent the bars of the cage, stepped out, then pushed the bars back in place, and immediately charged toward Kouga but was stopped when he heard "Oh wow look at that he looks so adorable I just want to give him a hug" a woman said

Inuyasha froze in mid step, and with fear of what he might find and horror filled eyes he looked himself over "Eeeeeeek, no it can't be nooo" he shrieked when his eyes fell upon the canary yellow diaper with pink ducks on it that he was wearing "Oh why, why fucking me?" then he realized he was wearing a baby bonnet which he swiftly ripped off

"Sesshy I want a cute little puppy like that one day" Kagome ragged

"In that case, shall we start now miko?" Sesshoumaru said playing along

"Oh goody, there's a tunnel at the far end of the zoo" Kagome replied

"Hm, I have something better in mind," he stated

"Okay" she answered, Sesshoumaru took hold of her and in his ball of light hey were gone

"No, Sesshoumaru you bastard get back here, you can't just take her like that" Inuyasha bellowed

"Hahaha, you have got to be kidding me," laughing Miroku exclaimed

"And what the fuck is that supposed to mean? Inuyasha demanded

"Simple dummy he's a man, and he is about to get some pussy, no sane man would or is about to turn that away" Kouga needled

"Yes Yashy and Kagsy did offer, we all heard it," Jakotsu reminded

"Ah hah" the rest agreed

"I do not give a flying shit," Inuyasha bellowed

"Nice diaper mutt" Kouga reminded knowing that he'd refocus on it

"Craaaaap" Inuyasha exclaimed, then in humiliation and the need to hide, he ran like hell

"Sucker never fails," Sango said

"You know that once he recovers from the shock of all of this that he will be at it again, right?" Kagura said

"Yup" the others agreed

**Caught on camera, broadcast nationwide**

**Strike 1**

Inuyasha finally came out of hiding, but was plotting his revenge he was trying to choose which one of the sick things running through his devious mind he should use then it came to him and a smirk crossed his lips. Sesshoumaru went to use his computer that was connected to the living room TV to access a free movie site, he chose the movie he wanted to view then clicked on it to start playing it. Instead, he got a computer generated image of himself wearing only a pink diaper dancing and singing

_**I am lord fluffy I am so girly and I'll kiss your tushy**_

_**I am just a lowly puppy I have a secret you don't know I wish I was a neko**_

_**Like a girl, I love to prance and dance a lot man I know I am freaking hot**_

The second the last part started Sesshoumaru watched as his image changed and was wearing a short pink dress with matching high heeled shoes, then started dancing like a stripper. Hidden in another Inuyasha was laughing his ass of waiting for Sesshoumaru to go on the warpath but to his disappointment and dismay it never happened, instead Sesshoumaru remained quiet and seemed uncaring, if only Inuyasha knew

"Little brother" he said, "Seems puppy hasn't learned yet" he thought

**Strike 2**

Sesshoumaru acted as if nothing had happened and that was driving Inuyasha insane he quietly seethed and tried to think of something else to do, maybe he'd try something much more drastic on the computer. That night Inuyasha watched from his hiding place as Sesshoumaru sat in the living room and once again chose a movie to watch from a website this time when he clicked on it he got a computer generated image of himself in a porn flick

"Oh my gods" Sugimi exclaimed as he entered the room

"Inuyasha" Sesshoumaru stated

"The boy is sick" what will you do in retaliation?

"I am going to ignore him, he is looking for attention and trying to rile be, I however am bored and care not," Sesshoumaru answered

"Damn" Inuyasha said though not loud he was heard by his father and brothers sensitive ears. He had forgotten they would "That icy prick" he thought then left

"It seems that your brother forgot we would hear him when he spoke" Sugimi said

"Yes it does" doesn't it? Sesshoumaru replied wearing a sadistic smile

"Sesshoumaru?

"Yes father?

"I know that look, and if you do not tell me your plan I will kill you" Grinning Sugimi promised, Sesshoumaru did "Oh goody I can hardly wait"

**Strike 3**, the following afternoon

Inuyasha tried once again this time the video was going to be Sesshoumaru dressed as a female prostitute wearing a very short pink low cut dress with matching shoes, and a pink rose in his hair, and black fishnet stocking's. picking up a man. All gathered in the living room with snacks and drinks ready for the movie that Sesshoumaru had chosen to watch, Inuyasha eagerly waited for Sesshoumaru to click on it and press play

"Damn" Sesshoumaru said

"What is it? Feigning not knowing anything Sugimi asked

"The damned thing will not work"

"Oh here mister inept let me do it" Inuyasha insulted his brother

"Good coming from a professional moron," Sesshoumaru retorted

"Shut up, and let me fix it" Inuyasha said, then clicked a couple of buttons on the computer keyboard "There, damn fluffy" don't you know what the hell a send button is" he needled

"No I only know what a send a hanyou to the hospital is" Sesshoumaru shot back

"Aright boys enough verbal bitch slapping. Somebody hit the play button already," Kagura wisecracked

"Gimmie I'll do it, if we wait for fluffy to do it he'll only fuck it up" Inuyasha wisecracked

"Mutt shut up and start the damn movie" Will ya? Kouga said

Inuyasha pressed play and the video started to play only instead of a movie Inuyasha saw himself in the video first with the firecrackers, and made into a Christmas tree, then the gorilla in the zoo incident, and a little something extra. Sesshoumaru had taken all of the videos that Inuyasha had made of him and replaced his image with Inuyasha's, at first when Inuyasha saw this he was to in shock to move but then he came around again ran to the computer keyboard and tried to shut it off

"Oh no you don't mutt" Kouga said and tripped him

"Stinking wolf" the pissed off hanyou huffed

"Brainless dog" Kouga shot back

Looking up at the computer Inuyasha saw it upload 100% complete "Nooooooo" he screamed

"Yes dear brother when you pressed play you also sent it to the internet. And you call me inept yet I took you down with your own attacks against me" Sesshoumaru gloated "Congratulations little little brother you've just been broadcast nationwide"

The room broke out in gut busting laughter "Sesshoumaruuu, you dirty fucker" Inuyasha bellowed

"As I recall you are the one who started this you dirty hanyou, not I"

"L, lovely lady, how, how much do you charge by the hour?" Miroku teased him air about the prostitute picture while gasping for air

"Damn dog breath don't you think that dress is a little to revealing. Even real prostitutes wear more then that" Kouga ragged, and laughed

"Wow you sexy bitch" Kagura joked

"Why son I had no idea of your nocturnal activities" Sugimi teased

"Want to go to the mall with us and pick out dresses? Ayame offered

"Honey I'll help you with that" Jakotsu added

"Look father she's making friends" Sesshoumaru joked

"Oh shut up and give me a break," Inuyasha yelled, lunged for grabbed and tore the computer to shreds

"Hehehe" Sesshoumaru laughed

"What the hell are you laughing at, you striped bastard?" Inuyasha snapped

"A fool"

"What the hell do you mean by that? Inuyasha bit

"You just destroyed your own computer" gloating Sesshoumaru replied

Inuyasha looked down and saw that it was his laptop and not Sesshoumaru's "Son of a bitch" he barked

"You did not think that I would use mine, did you?" Sesshoumaru needled

"You killed my baby" Inuyasha whined

"No fool you did, and if you really loved her you would not have done such a barbaric thing to her she was loyal to you and that is how you repay her" Sesshoumaru ragged

"Sniff, sniff and I really liked her a lot, she was a good friend," fake crying Kagome teased

"I thought you loved her" Kagura razzed

"Damn mutt you could have just asked for a divorce" Kouga needled

"Or you could have went to couples counseling and patched things up" Ayame teased

"Oh my gods you frigging idiots she wasn't a youkai or a human" indignant Inuyasha shot back

"Murderer" the group said

"Lady killer" Miroku added

"There you have it the jury has seen and heard the evidence, and have found you guilty of murder" Sesshoumaru needled

"I hate all of you to pieces" Inuyasha whined and stomped off

"I'll call a lawyer," Sugimi said to his retreating form to bug him

"Ah go marry your girlfriend the gorilla at the zoo" Inuyasha shot back

"Are you that desperate to have a mother? Sugimi wisecracked "Marry her and she can be your wife mother, hehehe" Inuyasha only growled in response

**Popcorn surprise, laundry room conference**

**New Years eve night**

Sesshoumaru loved to eat buttered popcorn while watching a movie, so Inuyasha aka Devilyasha being the persistent wise ass practical joker that he was hid something under Sesshoumaru's popcorn. But little did he know that Sesshoumaru had a really ball busting one for him

"Hey where's fluffy? Inuyasha asked "His popcorn is getting cold"

"He went to do something I don't know what" Miroku answered

Meanwhile in the with Sesshoumaru, and Kagome

"Sesshoumaru why did you call me here? Kagome asked

"This" Sesshoumaru answered

**Lemon starts**

No more was said Kagome's lips were covered with his, the second her lips parted his tongue quickly entered her mouth, their breathing became heavy, and hands roamed exploring each other's bodies. Both were in a savage state of mind neither wanting slow and gentle, Sesshoumaru's hands moved down to her ass then relieved her of her panties, before she knew what she was doing his pants were down around his ankles, he lifted her off her feet her legs went around his waist, and arms wound around his neck. He gently put her against the laundry room wall, and swiftly entered her, Kagome pulled her lips from his

"_**Oh fuck yes Sesshoumaru" **_she called out while exploding

"My miko" he replied "Despite it being her first she did not cry out in pain as I had expected" he thought

When her legs tightened around his waist pulling him into her more he knew what to do next, he walked over to the washing machine and sat her on top of it, then proceeded to pound into her harder and faster "Oh gods yes just what I wanted" she exclaimed

After she climaxed a few times he reached behind her, she asked what he was doing, he told her that she would soon find out, and he turned the washing machine on the vibration of that alone nearly sent her over the edge. The time was nearing and he began moving at inhuman speed, at the start of their climaxes his elongated fangs on the left sunk into the crook of her neck, she changed and followed her instinct to so the same to him. Their releases seemed to last and go on forever, both removed their fangs

"_**Ah Kagome gods damn" **_Sesshoumaru exclaimed while he erupted inside her like a volcano inside her

"_**Sesshoumaruuu" **_she called while her warm cavern milked his shaft, it was and was going to continue to be a long ride in paradise

**Lemon ends**

**With Inuyasha and the others**

Sugimi sat down also being a lover of buttered popcorn like his sons and seeing Sesshoumaru's abandoned bowl of popcorn he took it "No pop don't" Inuyasha started

"Leave me be pup, your brother is who knows where or when he will be back and left it here so now I lay claim to it" Sugimi replied

His mouth watering with anticipation he reached into the middle of the bowl to grab a handful of popcorn, what he found instead when he pulled his hand out was completely unexpected. Feeling something odd and being curious he looked in his hand was a twelve inch rubber penis, Sugimi looked at Inuyasha with knowing eyes, Inuyasha's face flushed a deadly shade of white and he fearfully gulped, Sugimi dropped it back into the bowl

"D, dad" the nervous hanyou exclaimed

"Growl"

"Ahhh shit" Inuyasha said and ran like hell

"Get back here popcorn killer"

"No way man your going to kill me" Inuyasha replied and sped up

"Shit what did dog breath do now?" Kouga said

Bankotsu picked up the bowl and looked "Look at this boys and girls"

"Damn the old rubber dick in the popcorn trick" grinning Miroku commented

"He must be desperate if he's resorting to the classics" Jakotsu stated

"Yep, and look who's bowl it is" Sango said

"Sesshoumaru's" Ayame, and Kagura replied

"Inuyasha is a certified suicidal whack job" Kouga joked

**New Years 12 midnight**

It was time for the New Years party to start, all gathered to start the celebration and quickly noticed two were missing "Happy New Year" the group simultaneously said

And that is when Kagome, and Sesshoumaru appeared in the dining room "Well they live" Inuyasha ragged "What the fuck were you doing for the past few hours playing dentist?

"Something better then that fool" Sesshoumaru answered

"Time to start" Sugimi said, and winked at Sesshoumaru

The group took their seats at the table, food and drinks were served, rare beef Inuyasha's favorite, after the plates were set down each one removed the lid and with knives and forks began digging in. When Inuyasha removed his lid he found something special a very real looking made of rubber vagina with hair on his plate with a few drops of fake blood to look as if it were bleeding. Sesshoumaru who had eaten his food at warp speed and was already finished sat looking innocent, it was Sesshoumaru's revenge for the popcorn trick that he knew before hand that Inuyasha was going to pull

"Growl son of a bitch" Inuyasha yelled "You are so dead"

"Whoa mutt I heard of eating pussy but not on a plate with a knife and fork" Kouga teased

"Don't you like yours attached to a warm live female? Ayame ragged

"Cold and dead you know that is considered necrophilia in the eyes of the law" Jakotsu teased

"I always knew there was a freak hidden inside the boy" Bankotsu added "Slurp"

"Assholes" Inuyasha griped

Kagome transformed into her inu humanoid form "Surprise" she said

"Fuck I do not believe this shit I get a plate full of pussy, and he's off mating" Inuyasha complained

"Oh like you intended for me to get a popcorn bowl full of dick" Sesshoumaru retorted

"Y, you knew?

"Of course little brother I know you all to well, knowing my love of buttered popcorn I knew you'd try to defile it in that way I simply planned ahead. Unfortunately for you father got the bowl and you got trounced, ha, ha" Sesshoumaru needled

"Happy New Year Taisho style everyone" smiling Sugimi said, then toasted them with his glass of champagne

"I'll kill you, I can't have beef so I will just settle for dog meat instead" Inuyasha said with an evil glint in his eyes, then licked his lips for dramatic affect

"Keep dreaming fool" Sesshoumaru said then flew off

"Damn fluffy can't you run like normal people. Bastard can fly so he has the advantage" Inuyasha bit, then took off in pursuit

When the Taisho brothers returned relaxed smiling Sesshoumaru sat down, while panting Inuyasha stopped to rest "Well the deadly duo has returned, and both alive, that is good to see" Sugimi joked

"Gee t, thanks pop," panting Inuyasha got out

"Well hello new years boy" grinning Ayame teased

"Ay, Ayame what are y, you up to? Inuyasha stammered, she smirked put him over her shoulder, and took off for parts unknown

"Happy cherry popping" Kouga teased as they disappeared from sight

"Ah another son mated, this is indeed the best new years I've ever known" Sugimi exclaimed, and they continued to party


End file.
